Why Giving Feedback Feels Like Eating Broccoli

Hey , when was the last time you woke up thinking, “Yay! I get to tell someone they dropped the ball today!”

Never? Yeah, me neither.

Giving feedback feels like flossing, you know you should, but you’ll do literally anything else instead. And receiving feedback? That’s like someone shining a flashlight on your worst angles during a Zoom call.

But here’s the deal: not giving feedback is not an option. Your team can’t read minds (even if they say they can).

So, what if I told you…
There’s a way to do it without the cringe, the stutters, or the passive-aggressive email chains? 🧠✨

Let’s play a game—spot the difference:

🌀 “Your report was bad.”
✅ “In yesterday’s sprint report, three sections were missing test data.”

🌀 “You need to communicate better.”
✅ “Today in the meeting, you didn’t share your blockers, so the team was unsure how to support you.”

You see what’s happening here?
We’re moving from vague stabs to precision coaching. 🎯

Meet Your New Best Friend: SBI(A)

It’s like a recipe for feedback that doesn’t suck.

S - Situation: When & where?
B - Behavior: What did you observe?
I - Impact: How did it affect the work/team?
(A) - Ask/Agree: Collaborate on the fix.

Example? Sure.

“Hey Rahul, in yesterday’s team sync (S), I noticed you cut off Sam mid-sentence (B). That threw the flow off, and others went quiet too (I). What was happening for you there? (A)”

Notice how it ends in a question.
That’s the secret sauce. Let them talk. You listen. Don’t jump in with a TED Talk.

Final Sip of Coffee ☕

This week’s challenge?
Pick one teammate. Use SBI(A). Give feedback. Ask them: “Was that helpful?”

And hey, if you're feeling brave—drop your experience in the comments. Or give me feedback too, just skip the sandwich method. I’m gluten-intolerant anyway 😉

📚 For your bookshelf:

• Radical Candor by Kim Scott

• Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen

• The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier